What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Citi Calls Time on Gold’s Rally Due to Slumping Demand, Fed Cuts - Bloomberg.com

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Does believing in God and Satan cause schizophrenia?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Why is my crush beautiful to me but not to others?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

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At least until the peyote kicks in ...

TEXT:

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Why are people nowadays so into anal sex?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Why do women wear less clothes compared to men?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

What kind of person makes you think "how come there are people like that"?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

If you received hand-me-downs as a child, how did they make you feel?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

When does a man tell a woman he has feelings for her?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Make Nazis afraid again!

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

What do you typically do while on meth?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Does turmeric help fight cancer? If so, how?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority